Go Back   Shoe Vomit > The Econopocalypse > COVID-19

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 26-08-2020, 14:38   #1
Oswald
how many people have been mugged?
 
Oswald's Avatar
 
AKA: Bakez
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 31,361
Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.
Default I had a one night stand with a fat girl

I’m fucking shittng
I put my dick in her unprotected, didn’t ejaculate
I had 12 pints ffs

I’ve 80% got an STI and I will suicide if he’s pregnant
__________________


FAVOURITE CASK ALE LIST
ADNAMS SOUTHWOLD - Mosaic
FULLERS - Red Fox
CROUCH VALE - Snow Drop
CROUCH VALE - Calypso
Oswald is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-08-2020, 09:11   #2
Oswald
how many people have been mugged?
 
Oswald's Avatar
 
AKA: Bakez
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 31,361
Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.
Default

help me
__________________


FAVOURITE CASK ALE LIST
ADNAMS SOUTHWOLD - Mosaic
FULLERS - Red Fox
CROUCH VALE - Snow Drop
CROUCH VALE - Calypso
Oswald is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-08-2020, 10:08   #3
Malcolm Tucker
Not Infected.
 
Malcolm Tucker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2020
Posts: 238
Malcolm Tucker offers personal services for rep
Default

you need to ascertain just how preg she is, you didn't ejaculate which is good but precum still contains sperm which is bad. You need to find out the concentration of your sperm-to-precum ratio, luckily the human tongue has evolved over billions of years for this task

start wanking but don't cum, when precum is flowing you need to get it on your finger and eat it, quite a bit, put on your wine tasting hat and identify the notes and flavours - the saltier it is, the higher the concentration of spermatoza. You could also ask your mum or another other cum eating veteran in advance to help you better understand the flavours you're getting - freshers week is just around the corner so you can ask the girls who look like theyve been swallowing cum all week on their experiences and observations too, take notes, last thing you need is to start testing it and just forget everything, what a plonker you'd feel then

complete the wank and then eat some of the proper full fat cum, about the same quantity of the precum so you keep the test as scientifically accurate as possible

how much saltier was it? if it was off the scale more saltier then only your full blown cum is likely to pregnate her, but if it's only moderately more salty it means you have quite a bit of spermatozeas in your precum already and you must prepare for pregnantcy

start thinking about a dna test as well, yes you already know you are baby daddy but you need to know the full ancestry of the child so you know how much slave reparations it will need to pay when it turns 16, the sooner you know the sooner you can start saving on their behalf so they're not completely embarrassed on their birthday when their friends ask them how much privilege they have apologised for financially

don't do gender reveal either, it is a waste of time, they know their identity, not you, these things happen themselves when theyre good and ready and theres no rush, I know one person who is 38 and still not decided if they are employed or not yet, rushing them only pressures baby into poor decisions
__________________
Right people, listen up. It's a fucking LOCKDOWN. Right now.

Last edited by Malcolm Tucker; 28-08-2020 at 10:12.
Malcolm Tucker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-08-2020, 12:20   #4
Chuckles
happy
 
Chuckles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 45,224
Chuckles is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Chuckles is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Chuckles is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Chuckles is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Chuckles is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Chuckles is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Chuckles is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Chuckles is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Chuckles is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Chuckles is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Chuckles is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.
Default

She got your number/address?
__________________
Threads are being trashed and derailed with petty squabbles and insults. Nobody minds a bit of banter but it soon descends into insults and the thread is ruined.

Neither myself or iam want to spend hours cleaning threads up and dealing with RTM's so do us a favour and reign it in a bit please.

This is now serious business.
Chuckles is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-08-2020, 20:54   #5
Charlie Kelly
BRO
 
Charlie Kelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 1,751
Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.
Default

If you had 12 pints are you sure you even got it in her, you could have been fucking her belly or her leg FFS
Charlie Kelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-08-2020, 23:00   #6
Oswald
how many people have been mugged?
 
Oswald's Avatar
 
AKA: Bakez
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 31,361
Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlie Kelly View Post
If you had 12 pints are you sure you even got it in her, you could have been fucking her belly or her leg FFS
i wish
__________________


FAVOURITE CASK ALE LIST
ADNAMS SOUTHWOLD - Mosaic
FULLERS - Red Fox
CROUCH VALE - Snow Drop
CROUCH VALE - Calypso
Oswald is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-08-2020, 23:02   #7
Charlie Kelly
BRO
 
Charlie Kelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 1,751
Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.
Default

Post nutt clarity is a BITCH, huh?!?

Nah but seriously, whatever actually happened I'm sure it's fine. How well do you know the person, because for all you know she's on the pill.. Plus nuclear option, if something does crop up you can fuck off back to the UK
Charlie Kelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-08-2020, 23:03   #8
Oswald
how many people have been mugged?
 
Oswald's Avatar
 
AKA: Bakez
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 31,361
Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuckles View Post
She got your number/address?
she can find it

this fucking loon has seen me in the cask ale pub 3 times and always makes sexual comments to me, shes another stalker lunatic, she literally walked in and started talking about sex to me. i dont know how the fuck i ended up in her place

im sure i didnt ejaculate tho because i woke up in a panic attack while she was on top of me and i told her to stop

then i fell asleep, woke up at 6:30 am and walked home, almost threw up on the way
__________________


FAVOURITE CASK ALE LIST
ADNAMS SOUTHWOLD - Mosaic
FULLERS - Red Fox
CROUCH VALE - Snow Drop
CROUCH VALE - Calypso
Oswald is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-08-2020, 23:04   #9
Charlie Kelly
BRO
 
Charlie Kelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 1,751
Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Charlie Kelly is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.
Default

OMG by definition.... you were raped.

And I'm being serious, she took advantage of you if you woke up mid way through.
Charlie Kelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-08-2020, 23:04   #10
Oswald
how many people have been mugged?
 
Oswald's Avatar
 
AKA: Bakez
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 31,361
Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.Oswald is a cheating bobble-hatted mincebag.
Default

ive stalked her on fb and shes posting revenge photos as well
i think this is actually it, im having panic attacks every few hours
__________________


FAVOURITE CASK ALE LIST
ADNAMS SOUTHWOLD - Mosaic
FULLERS - Red Fox
CROUCH VALE - Snow Drop
CROUCH VALE - Calypso
Oswald is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 17:46.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions Inc.