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Old 16-05-2018, 18:36   #11
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Converts the left phalange
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IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

GOD BLESS YOU.
EACH AND EVERY ONE.




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HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY


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Old 17-05-2018, 09:22   #12
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FLUX CAPACITOR
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Old 20-05-2018, 13:20   #13
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ECU coming mate
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Old 22-05-2018, 10:26   #14
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Still cunted, the dash flickering is all sorted but it didn't start this morning. Died on key turn, no life. Had to disconnect battery and reconnect for it to come back again, then did its usual choked attempt to start on first go, then roared into life on second.

Canal?
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Old 22-05-2018, 10:31   #15
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Modern cars are so unnecessarily complicated that even mechanics don't know what's wrong with them half the time ffs
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Old 22-05-2018, 10:45   #16
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In fairness they fixed the flickering issue, but it looks like it was two faults overlapping. It's been normal since about this time last week.

HERE'S MY THEORY

Is it just a fucked connector and it deteriorates over time, and when a bigger draw is needed to start the car it can't handle it and the connection is lost. Fiddling with the terminals etc restores the circuit. When I try and start it up again, because the last attempt probably put the starter motor in a kind of starting position or something, it can't just pick up from that position when the battery gives it power again, so it fails. A fresh new start though works fine.

The thing is though, are battery terminals really that finicky? I always thought as long as it had a reasonable bit of metal to conduct, it would always work. Hence why jump starting is fine with just the clamp teeth on jumpers? Or can terminals corrode so 90% of the metal is just not conductive enough any more to do a full crank?
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Old 22-05-2018, 10:46   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enoch Powell View Post
Modern cars are so unnecessarily complicated that even mechanics don't know what's wrong with them half the time ffs
You just plug a reader into them, you fucking dolt.
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Old 22-05-2018, 10:46   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Malcolm Tucker View Post
In fairness they fixed the flickering issue, but it looks like it was two faults overlapping. It's been normal since about this time last week.

HERE'S MY THEORY

Is it just a fucked connector and it deteriorates over time, and when a bigger draw is needed to start the car it can't handle it and the connection is lost. Fiddling with the terminals etc restores the circuit. When I try and start it up again, because the last attempt probably put the starter motor in a kind of starting position or something, it can't just pick up from that position when the battery gives it power again, so it fails. A fresh new start though works fine.

The thing is though, are battery terminals really that finicky? I always thought as long as it had a reasonable bit of metal to conduct, it would always work. Hence why jump starting is fine with just the clamp teeth on jumpers? Or can terminals corrode so 90% of the metal is just not conductive enough any more to do a full crank?
Yeah, a dodgy earth connection can cause all sorts of problems.
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Old 22-05-2018, 11:00   #19
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when it fails, does it crank or is it completely dead?
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Threads are being trashed and derailed with petty squabbles and insults. Nobody minds a bit of banter but it soon descends into insults and the thread is ruined.

Neither myself or iam want to spend hours cleaning threads up and dealing with RTM's so do us a favour and reign it in a bit please.

This is now serious business.
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Old 22-05-2018, 11:18   #20
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It tries for a split second, there's a sound under the bonnet that basically sounds like something metallic doing a single tap against something, and then it all cuts out, there's no churning of the starter motor or anything, and then there's no electrical life at all. Before turning the key the electrics are all fine, it's like the act of trying to starting it breaks the circuit.
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