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Malcolm Tucker 08-05-2018 12:50

car being spasticated
car has developed this fault:

when you turn off ignition and remove key, the dashboard lights flicker and generally go mental, I can still lock the car with the fob/central locking

put key back in, turn ignition on, lights behave normally, turn key and car starts fine and runs normal

HOWEVER in the last few days, it's got a bit worse and now when you turn the key to start it sometimes doesn't, instead there's a bit of a mechanical 'clank' sound and everything goes dead, no electrics at all. To get it going again I have to disconnect the battery, wait about 5 seconds, reconnect and then the dash lights go beserk again. Then it will start up but only on it's second attempt, first attempt ALWAYS fails, the starter motor sort of chokes out on the first go.

it's booked in at garage for next week but wondered if you cunts might have had it before or knew what it was

what I've tried:

- a new battery in case it was faulty or leaking current or something
- cleaned up all the terminals on the battery and connectors
- checked fuse boxes are all clean and dry
- pointlessly prodded and tapped different things under the bonnet, such as the air filter and exhaust manifold

capitalist 08-05-2018 13:10

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Frank Castle 08-05-2018 13:24


Chuckles 08-05-2018 16:07

Get a 5 quid odb2 scanner and see if there are any codes

Enoch Powell 08-05-2018 16:14

Would have said battery except you've apparently ruled that out.

My car behaved similarly, I had to get a new battery recently and that solved it. It was powerful enough to make the lights and locks work etc. but not powerful enough to turn the engine over at all. RAC confirmed the starter motor and alternator were working perfectly but the battery voltage was too low or whatever. I was just relieved that was all it was as the other things would have been more pricey.

Oh yeah, my dials would go haywire when you turn the key first, all the dials are electrically driven on the Puma (the ones with a digital mileometer anyway) so when they do the full sweep it can be a sign the battery is fucked apparently.

Groot 08-05-2018 17:01

Starter solenoid.

Chuckles 08-05-2018 17:19

changing the battery might not fix it if there’s something draining it overnight. Search YouTube for parasitic draw test

Groot 08-05-2018 17:42

You're a parasitic draw test.

Malcolm Tucker 16-05-2018 11:40

was ECU converter module

Chuckles 16-05-2018 11:51

What does this module convert the ECU into? :shifty:

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